Back to why I couldn't get into the "Christmas Spirit" this year. I have been dealing with a new diet/life style change...going gluten free. Then all of the medical bills started coming in needing to be paid. I guess I was becoming overwhelmed with all of this and the "material" side of Christmas and felt as though everyone in my circle was missing the true reason for the season. I asked for my health back for Christmas. I just wanted to spend time with my family and loved ones. I ended up getting my family what they asked for but still didn't have the joy in my heart like I have in years past. Christmas has ALWAYS been my favorite holiday! Why was I feeling such melancholy?!
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| Christmas Tree & presents at my Parents' house |
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| 1st Christmas Tree in my new house |
I guess it was just God's way of preparing me for the Christmas I was about to have. In the week leading up to Christmas, I worked so diligently on getting payroll out since it was the last one of the year and doing my best to ensure the W-2s would be correct. Thursday, around 3:30, I receive a call from Finance stating that there was no regular pay for all the executives on the journal entry. And this is where the nightmare started!
On Friday, I was working to correct the biggest mistake of my payroll career when I receive a message about a car accident in WV and I know those involved. My heart sank. The messages just got worse from there. I was informed that Jane Miller has died as a result of the accident and she had 2 of her granddaughters in the car with her.
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| Jane Miller |
I got out of work as quickly as I could to start my journey to WV to be with my longtime friends, Aaron and Rachel Miller. I knew the weather conditions were not in my favor. Blizzard warnings, freezing rain, snow, and white out conditions. This still wasn't enough to keep me from being there to support my friends during this tragedy.
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| Laurel Brook Miller |
An hour into my trip, I received a call from my mom I prayed wouldn't come. Laurel, Aaron and Rachel's 3 year old daughter, has not survived her injuries from this accident. My heart was absolutely broken. For me, my friends, and their entire family. I immediately called my prayer warrior sister in Christ, Jervetta. She immediately started praying over me, Rachel, Aaron, and Callie as I drove on to WV.
I did my best to focus on driving...and safely. There is absolutely no need for another accident! Due to the bad weather, it took me longer than usual to get to WV. I was able to spend all of that time in prayer. I kept praying for God's comfort and grace over Aaron, Rachel, Danny, and the rest of the Miller/McCrum families. I was angry that such a horrible thing could happen to such wonderful people. Especially people who have already had to endure such pain and loss. I prayed for peace in me as well. I know it is ok to question God. I told him that I honestly don't understand why he had to take Jane and Laurel so soon, but I know he doesn't make mistakes. He must have something really special planned and we just aren't ready to see it yet. My constant prayer is that God is able to reveal himself in this trial and that he is able to heal Callie's physical injuries to where she is 100% again, and heal all of the broken hearts.
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| This is a picture of Callie on Christmas Eve in PICU at Ruby Memorial Hospital |
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| My older sister, Kim, and I were headed to the hospital Saturday morning. This is a picture of the much improved roads from that I drove home on the night before. The church in the distance is the church I grew up in...Sugar Valley United Methodist Church. |
After arriving at the hospital, Kim and I embraced Rachel in a hug and just cried. I apologized for not getting there sooner. In typical strong Rachel fashion, she hugged me back and said, "it's ok. I couldn't get here soon enough."
I bit my bottom lip so hard fighting back tears during my visit that I had my bottom lip bleeding by the time I left. It was difficult trying to be strong for my friends when, in all honesty, I didn't have to put up this strong front for my friends. I know God gave me this strength to support my friends.
It turns out, I ended up getting what I asked for for Christmas. I got to spend time with my friends and family. I just wish it would've been a more joyful time spent with them. In 31 Christmas's, this was by FAR the saddest one ever and I hope I never have to experience another one like it ever again.
I did hug my nieces, nephew, and family tighter and longer this trip. I am so grateful to have such a strong support system. I will close this entry with a picture of my nephew and his "master piece" and me with my nieces on Christmas morning. God bless you all!
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| Brody LOVED the window crayons I got him for Christmas! |
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| Brooke & Paige loved to help me in EVERYTHING I do! <3 |
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. ~ Proverbs 3:5
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